This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
