Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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