mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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