I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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