The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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