Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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