Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My cat gives me a boner
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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