all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
the raccoons are back...
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