So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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