Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize