He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
