i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Help. Why am I so naked?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
