Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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