Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
