why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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