Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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