Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...