if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy