You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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