one two three fourrrrnication!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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