you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
