idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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