I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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