so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have already put on my inside pants.