i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize