I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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