threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize