I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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