id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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