Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All the doctor said was why
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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