lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
