Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
