he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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