Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
