3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
