Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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