I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just need some of your time and all of your body.