Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm chasing vodka with french fries.

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(201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. http://tfl.nu/5e4z

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(678): View more from Georgia

he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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(678): he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with. http://tfl.nu/6t6o

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(415): View more from California

i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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(415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb

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(425): View more from Washington

Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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(425): Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight. http://tfl.nu/mywq

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(315): View more from New York

It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"

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(315): It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!" http://tfl.nu/cmoy

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

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(202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh

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(850): View more from Florida

"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

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(850): "Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW? http://tfl.nu/ng2t

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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(307): If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them http://tfl.nu/vjhk

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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(870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god. http://tfl.nu/nsks

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(815): View more from Illinois

Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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(815): Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess. http://tfl.nu/3e7p

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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(423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away

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(585): Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away http://tfl.nu/gctj

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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(775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj

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(870): View more from Arkansas

When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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(870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?

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(613): Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus? http://tfl.nu/amrt

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