I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship