no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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