If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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