ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
