I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
