so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
