lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.