No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...