i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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