okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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