I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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