its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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