I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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