ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All the doctor said was why
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
