my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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